Friday 8 November 2013
Satisfying the self.........
I know that it's been a long time since my last post.I put up what I've learnt from my own life in here.Each of these posts are like fragments of my life.They are simple things that make my life complete and i know that it'll help in completing yours.Today was one of the most memorable days of my life.I went out with my family.That's i.t?whats the big deal?, right?.Well I don't think it would have made me this happy and content a few months back .Because I was living my life in a hurry.I was so busy "living" my life that I forgot to hit the brakes and appreciate it, appreciate life.Very often we are too focused on becoming successful in life, that we forget to slow down for a moment and take a look at our life.Our life is like a beautiful YouTube video , sometimes when things get too fast and confusing you need to rewind it and spend a moment or two understanding .That's what we need to do, every night spend a moment recollecting the day's happenings, pause at the right places and appreciate the beautiful things that have happened .Savor each and every moment of your life, live each moment like its your last.And then you'll feel more alive,more happy , more content.And you'll no longer expect God to descend from heaven and hand you a million dollars so that you could be happy.Feel happy when someone smiles at you, if not its fine,at least they chose to walk next to you,feel happy when someone helps you, if not, its fine you can help them instead that too will make you happy,feel happy when the sun rises, if not fine anyways you needed a bit of extra sleep.......Enjoy your life.Its precious, not just for you but for many around you, for those who love you and for those who needs your love.They were right- life is like a roller coaster ride , you can either chose to enjoy it, or decide to curse the operator......both ways it'l only halt when the right time comes ..... :)
Wednesday 25 September 2013
What to do when you are stressed out......
You can't expect a person who burns his head off in office from 9 to 5 and spends an added 4 hours at home finishing the rest of his work, to please you with a warm smile at the end of the day.It's natural,he too is a human who will feel pissed off if he work like a robot.You can't avoid the works, you have the bills to pay off, but you can avoid the stress.It's amazing how these small things can do wonders on being included in you daily schedule.
Meditate-Every morning or evening, set apart some time to meditate.But during meditation make sure that you don't further pressurize yourself by trying too hard to concentrate.Just close your eyes and relax, don't block your thoughts, let them just flow out.
Do some exercise-By exercise I don't mean lifting heavy weights,turn on the music and do a few simple exercises like hip rotation or forward bend.
Listen to music-Listen to some soothing music, or any genre of music you like.But do keep the low enough to avoid a bad headache..
Read/watch something funny-Go to youtube and watch a few funny videos or read the comics you like and laugh hard.Laughing is the best medicine on earth for stress.
Spend some time with your family-I know that family can be boring at times,but sometimes even they can save you when you when you are too stressed out.Talk with them about your childhood/ few funny incidents of the past.Forget about work for sometime and put your mind on something else.
write-when you are too stressed, penning down your emotions, will help getting rid of your bad thoughts and will thereby make you feel better.
take a hot shower-this is something i always do.It's like a medicine that gives you instant freshness.And always something that always works.
Tuesday 24 September 2013
Dealing with problems.........
Do you know?99.9% of times a problem is not actually a problem ,but our mind makes the situation so complex that it puzzles us.Now you may be thinking- "be in my position and then say that!".I know that we all go through difficult situations which sometimes leads to a big crisis.And like in those pc games you don't get "solve it " or "leave it as such" options,you have to solve the problem no matter what, which puts added pressure on you.Most people in such situations , are under so much pressure that, they loose their capability to think straight.Like my math teacher says, no problem is without a solution, you just have to put in some extra effort, that's all!There are no Problems Solving Guides available for life, but still I would like to share some things that helped me a lot in dealing with my own life's problems.
Do not think when you too confused- Often when we have to take a major decision we start thinking too much.Maybe its the biggest decision of your life and you want to be a bit cautious.But let me tell you one thing, over-thinking never really works, it only confuses you further.Because it gets too hard for your brain to run so many stuffs at a time!So what you need to do is relax, take a deep breath, listen to some music, go to a peaceful place, and then think about each option, one at a time.Slowly the answers for the questions you had in your mind will start popping up on their own.
Write down whats right and what's wrong- Once you have relaxed and calmed down , you can take a notebook and write down the advantages and disadvantages of choosing each option.For example-if the decision is regarding quitting your job and choosing a new one, then write down the pay,self-content you get/may get from each job, and then compare its advantages and disadvantages.
Getting advice- While this is not the best thing you can do when you are confused, its still not a very bad option.Ask an elderly person at your home whom you think might have gone through the same/similar experiences.Try to understand how they dealt with the situation.But make sure that they don't force you into taking a decision which you are not satisfied with.
How would the decision influence your life?-Yet another exercise you can do when you are calm is to create a mental image of how your life would change, once you have taken a particular decision.Suppose you have 3 options available, take time, review each option and then try to create a mental image of how your life would change on choosing each of these options-do you see a happy you, or a sad you?,are you doing what you like and getting what you want?
Do not jump into any decision- This is the most important advice I can ever give!Sometimes we are too confused and too tired that we simply go with our guts and take a decision without much thinking.This is the worst thing anyone can do,and something which has happened to me several times.For the time being it may give you some relief , but do not forget the fact that you are the one who should live with your decision.
Wake early in the morning!-If you want to make a major decision and have some thinking to do, then the best time for it is early morning.dah! that's why I'm blogging at 4:30 am....just kiddin.But really, early morning is the best time to do any major decision making process.When you have just woken up from sleep, your mind is clean, other people's opinions have not influenced you yet, so your mind clearly knows what it wants.Plus the added freshness of the morning and the sweet aroma of the tea will definitely brighten up your mood!
Once you have made a decision , don't regret it-Found my blog a bit too late?Have already made the decision?Then for heaven's sake don't regret it!That's the worst thing you can do!Think about what you can do now, a single decision can't turn your life upside down right?, or maybe it did.Anyways, now what you should do is think about how you can make it more enjoyable.Maybe your decision has affected one aspect of your life, but you still have control over the others.For example-maybe you decided to take up a new job, which was a bad decision.But you still have control over the other aspects of your life like friends, family etc.And most importantly do not loose hope and believe that things will get better.
Monday 23 September 2013
Why The Right Time Never Comes.....
Life never home-delivers the stuffs you need and say "there you go buddy".You need to earn it,you need to work hard for it.But sometimes,you work hard, you do everything you can,you give your 100% to something, but still when you finally get an opportunity, you step back because it was just not the "right time".The situation is so confusing that you are forced to give up,you are just not ready to take risk,because you are scared you are making the wrong move. I've done this a lot of times and now I regret doing it.If you too have done this /is doing this then let me make something clear-the right time never comes.You know its like crossing the seven seas to find a genie in a bottle,and when you finally find it, being scared to open it because, you think the genie might eat you.This happens because in your mind "right" means something that ordinary people normally do "wrong" is something extraordinary, something unique,something different.Your mind is half right- by choosing something out of the ordinary, you are taking a risk.But let me tell you one thing, life will never ever give you a second chance.99.9% times its -do it now or never.Life will never ever offer you a second chance with a perfect timing.You may feel like its wrong inside,you may feel like its not the right thing,but know that its normal,its something everyone feels when in your position.So tell yourself that all the sufferings you have gone through and all your hard work has finally brought you this opportunity.Maybe it's a hard path,maybe its not the most easiest option available,but if you were able to reach till here ,then you can definitely make it to the end.It might be a long way ahead ,but make yourself strong, tell yourself that you have come halfway through, now even if you decide to quit its the same long journey back, so its better to keep moving forward.If you were able to reach till here then you can take it from here.Remember the 3 words- hard work,perseverance,will.
Friday 20 September 2013
Passion.Love.Happiness
Love,passion and happiness are like 3 beads that complete our life, without one the other is incomplete.It's like water without hydrogen.Without these you can actually live your life,but you'll be just kinda living your life.But the shocking truth is that 80% of the people of our planet do not have one or more than one of these in their lives.How do you bring these into your life?I was like you, clueless at one point of my life, but then I started building myself and my character.Slowly I started discovering myself and started discovering methods to incorporate these 3 elements into my life.
Passion................One day I woke up in the morning, the time was 9:30 am,but I wanted to go back to sleep, because I didn't want to face my life,I didn't want to face a new day.Then I asked myself "why?"....I had no answer.I thought for a while and figured out the answer,it was because I was not doing what I wanted,I was not doing what I like.Then I asked myself "what is it that I like?", my mind told me many things, and one of the things on the list was "my life"Yes , most importantly, I love my life.I would never ever let go of this life for anyone or anything. That's the truth, we all love our life , its the things we do that we dislike.But if we just take our eyes off the imperfections and look at this perfect life God has given us,the urge to wake up every morning and do something to change our life comes on its own.This life is precious, and its not the life you wanna change, but its the things you do that you wanna change.And the things are not gonna change unless and until you take action.And for you to take action you need to love yourself and your life.Your life is precious baby, and you can do anything on this goddamn earth to save it.Don't just sit and lament, wake up every morning and do something that you think will make your life meaningful!!!
Love..........You know, sometimes I wonder if God created this Universe from love.Love is such a wonderful thing,the best emotion ever created.Love and happiness are so deeply connected, without love happiness doesn't show, and without happiness love doesn't come.Love is like a magic potion for instant happiness, only thing is you don't drink it.When we start appreciating the beauty of the small things in our life, we immediately feel, more happy,content, and more alive.Treat others the way you expect others to treat you.Its always give love and take love ,one way never really works.There are many small changes in your life that you can make today to bring more love into your life.Greet the first person you see in the morning after leaving home.When you see someone do something good, appreciate it from the bottom of your heart.Feel happy when someone else is happy, laugh with them, and share the joy.Tell your close friends and family , the reason you love them so much.Call up your family at least once everyday if you are staying away from them.....there are thousands of such minor changes that will not only make you feel more happy but also satisfied with your life.I hope these will help you to live a more meaningful life, filled with happiness.
And one more thing, this is one very useful site I came across, helps you calm down and relax after a hectic day at work, do check it out...... www.donothingfor2minutes.com
Sunday 14 July 2013
Plan Your Day .Plan Happiness.
Making a mind schedule:-
Accept it, at some point of our life , we've decided to start live by a schedule and sooner or later have had to give up ; has happened to me several times."Walk at 5 " in your schedule and by the time you wake up, its already noon!So then how exactly do you live a planned life?Let me share with you a few tricks that worked for me!
1.Take it easy,do not over exert yourself.Its ok to wake one day and take a decision to live a planned and organized life but you should give your mind and body some time to get adjusted with this major change.Suppose you sleep a lot, and one day you decide to wake up at 6 and go for a walk, i wont say its impossible, but it can be really difficult- your muscles are not used to such workouts early in the morning , nor is your sleepy mind.Even if you make it, you may feel tired and sleepy all day long and all your other plans could get disturbed.
So start by making minor changes , don't try to take a big leap and change your habits on a single day.For instance start waking an hour earlier , if you usually wake up at 8 try waking up at 7 from today or at least at 7:30 and after every couple of weeks you can cut half an hour of sleeping time from your schedule.Similarly after every couple of weeks you can increase your workout time by half an hour.So you will soon start finding time for many other essential things like spending time with your family, also you will feel more refreshed and pleasant than before.
2.Try making a schedule in your mind and avoid writing it down if possible.When you keep this schedule in your mind rather than writing it down, you will unknowingly start following it at some point.Even if you are currently living an unplanned life,your mind is used to doing certain things at different times of the day.For example, if you start sleeping at noon for over a week, you will automatically start feeling sleepy at that time i.e our mind keeps a note of whatever we are doing and it is these mental notes that eventually develop into habits.So when you deliberately create such mental notes i.e if you create and plan a daily schedule in your mind itself, it'll become much more easier for your mind to follow it.
3.Break those mental blocks.As i said earlier your mind tend to create mental notes, so when you suddenly start acting against those habits , your mind will immediately start resisting, as now you are doing something out of its comfort zone / something its not used to.Breaking free of such mental obstacles is one of the major step towards becoming an organized person.Once you are through this phase, there's no stopping you.So next time you feel like grabbing the remote,jump into the treadmill and break some sweat!
Accept it, at some point of our life , we've decided to start live by a schedule and sooner or later have had to give up ; has happened to me several times."Walk at 5 " in your schedule and by the time you wake up, its already noon!So then how exactly do you live a planned life?Let me share with you a few tricks that worked for me!
1.Take it easy,do not over exert yourself.Its ok to wake one day and take a decision to live a planned and organized life but you should give your mind and body some time to get adjusted with this major change.Suppose you sleep a lot, and one day you decide to wake up at 6 and go for a walk, i wont say its impossible, but it can be really difficult- your muscles are not used to such workouts early in the morning , nor is your sleepy mind.Even if you make it, you may feel tired and sleepy all day long and all your other plans could get disturbed.
So start by making minor changes , don't try to take a big leap and change your habits on a single day.For instance start waking an hour earlier , if you usually wake up at 8 try waking up at 7 from today or at least at 7:30 and after every couple of weeks you can cut half an hour of sleeping time from your schedule.Similarly after every couple of weeks you can increase your workout time by half an hour.So you will soon start finding time for many other essential things like spending time with your family, also you will feel more refreshed and pleasant than before.
2.Try making a schedule in your mind and avoid writing it down if possible.When you keep this schedule in your mind rather than writing it down, you will unknowingly start following it at some point.Even if you are currently living an unplanned life,your mind is used to doing certain things at different times of the day.For example, if you start sleeping at noon for over a week, you will automatically start feeling sleepy at that time i.e our mind keeps a note of whatever we are doing and it is these mental notes that eventually develop into habits.So when you deliberately create such mental notes i.e if you create and plan a daily schedule in your mind itself, it'll become much more easier for your mind to follow it.
3.Break those mental blocks.As i said earlier your mind tend to create mental notes, so when you suddenly start acting against those habits , your mind will immediately start resisting, as now you are doing something out of its comfort zone / something its not used to.Breaking free of such mental obstacles is one of the major step towards becoming an organized person.Once you are through this phase, there's no stopping you.So next time you feel like grabbing the remote,jump into the treadmill and break some sweat!
4.Create mental goals.Its the goals we create in our life that pushes us forward each day.So set a minor goal for this week-for example tell yourself that by the end of this month you will loose 2kgs/something similar.This will motivate us to follow the schedule.But make sure that the goal you are setting is realistic and easy to reach.Big goals are good, but for the time being they can reduce your spirit as such goals can only be achieved over a large period of time and initially you may meet with failures.So keep it simple and set small goals.Ultimately, these small victories will help you achieve those big goals.
A Happier Life :)
6 simple things you can do to stay happy-:)
1.Do not think twice:-It is good to think well before taking any important decision in your life, but over-thinking is not gonna help you much.Most often it'll only lead you into further confusions. One thought will lead to the other and the other one to the next, and as each of these thoughts zoom through your mind so does your mood .Ever wondered why you are feeling less enthusiastic on a particular day without any reason?...well here's the answer-its due to your thoughts.Most of us tend to plan things well ahead of time, which is in a way good but each and every decision you make in your life will have an advantage and a disadvantage.So sometimes we should just stop overworking our mind , sit back relax and then come to a decision after consulting those you trust i.e, if you wanna stay happy!
2.Sometimes not being a good listener is OK!:-If you have ever gone through a major crisis in your life and if you are most unfortunately blessed with a big family you might have probably gone through hours and hours of "advice" sessions.Its good to learn from others' experiences but if you feel like they are imposing their will upon you , stop listening immediately or at least mentally ignore them.Because at the end ,your own opinion/will is gonna get lost as you are too busy listening to other's opinions.What you actually need to do is at least for a while stop listening to what others are telling you and try to listen to what your self is telling you.Because at the end of the day it is your life and you are the one who should live it!
3.Stop comparing, right now!:-This is something which half of us do and the funny part is that we may not even realize that its wrong.Have you ever compared yourself to others and thought how unlucky you are when "COMPARED" to them? Then that's the dumbest thing we humans do.Look at your life and his -were you both brought up in the same manner?,do you think the same way as he/she does?,do you have the same talents as him/her?did he/she have a rough childhood just like you?.........the answer is quiet obviously no.You both are different so will your success be. Even if you are comparing yourself to your identical twin there will be some difference between you both and that's the reason why you both are considered as individuals.If all the human beings thought alike/talked alike and reacted similarly to various situations then you can of course compare yourselves with them, but thats not the case - so never ever compare yourself to others and conclude that you are a loser.
4.Once you have done it , don't regret it!:-Did you know that half of the humans waste 1/3rd of their lives regretting their past deeds?...i was just kidding, but who knows? maybe its true.Sometimes even if we think and rethink a thousand times, we end up making the wrong moves.Regretting is in a way good as it will help us remain more cautious in future.But the reality is-there's no use in crying over spilled milk.Yes, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it!To stop regretting is one of the hardest goals to achieve...ask me!...but once you get over it you will feel a lot relieved.The first step towards forgetting the past is to stop talking and thinking about it.Come to the present,live in the present and think about the present.Then no matter how hard the failure was, you will recover from it within no time.
5.Come to real life,then start socializing:- One of the most common error we humans do is that we give more importance to our virtual friends than the real ones.We spend hours updating our fb status,chatting with online friend(half of them who are total strangers) so that we could keep our fb account "live".Ok so just take a moment and think-if you wake up tomorrow and find yourself in an extremely terrible situation , how many of these "virtual friends" will be there for your help?...honestly , half of my most intimate fb friends wont even care to smile when they see me in reality.Well lets face the truth....the only bond you have is with your real life friends and family.The one you make online is only "virtual" as they call it.So snap out of your imaginary land, step into the real one and then socialize and make some "real friends".Maybe you are a shy person and dislike interacting with real life people and situations, but at the end of the day ...its these people and situations you have to live with!Hiding in your own virtual land will only make you more shy.
6.Cry,Its alright!:-You might be thinking -"cry?to be happy? what .....on earth?" But its the truth,the happiness and bliss crying can give you is un-explainable. We are human beings,we need to let out our emotions in one way or the other...bolting them up will only worsen the situation.So next time you feel like the pain is overwhelming,go to someone you trust/go sit somewhere alone and just let your pain,anger and fear flow out-its alright, no one is watching you!
1.Do not think twice:-It is good to think well before taking any important decision in your life, but over-thinking is not gonna help you much.Most often it'll only lead you into further confusions. One thought will lead to the other and the other one to the next, and as each of these thoughts zoom through your mind so does your mood .Ever wondered why you are feeling less enthusiastic on a particular day without any reason?...well here's the answer-its due to your thoughts.Most of us tend to plan things well ahead of time, which is in a way good but each and every decision you make in your life will have an advantage and a disadvantage.So sometimes we should just stop overworking our mind , sit back relax and then come to a decision after consulting those you trust i.e, if you wanna stay happy!
2.Sometimes not being a good listener is OK!:-If you have ever gone through a major crisis in your life and if you are most unfortunately blessed with a big family you might have probably gone through hours and hours of "advice" sessions.Its good to learn from others' experiences but if you feel like they are imposing their will upon you , stop listening immediately or at least mentally ignore them.Because at the end ,your own opinion/will is gonna get lost as you are too busy listening to other's opinions.What you actually need to do is at least for a while stop listening to what others are telling you and try to listen to what your self is telling you.Because at the end of the day it is your life and you are the one who should live it!
3.Stop comparing, right now!:-This is something which half of us do and the funny part is that we may not even realize that its wrong.Have you ever compared yourself to others and thought how unlucky you are when "COMPARED" to them? Then that's the dumbest thing we humans do.Look at your life and his -were you both brought up in the same manner?,do you think the same way as he/she does?,do you have the same talents as him/her?did he/she have a rough childhood just like you?.........the answer is quiet obviously no.You both are different so will your success be. Even if you are comparing yourself to your identical twin there will be some difference between you both and that's the reason why you both are considered as individuals.If all the human beings thought alike/talked alike and reacted similarly to various situations then you can of course compare yourselves with them, but thats not the case - so never ever compare yourself to others and conclude that you are a loser.
4.Once you have done it , don't regret it!:-Did you know that half of the humans waste 1/3rd of their lives regretting their past deeds?...i was just kidding, but who knows? maybe its true.Sometimes even if we think and rethink a thousand times, we end up making the wrong moves.Regretting is in a way good as it will help us remain more cautious in future.But the reality is-there's no use in crying over spilled milk.Yes, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it!To stop regretting is one of the hardest goals to achieve...ask me!...but once you get over it you will feel a lot relieved.The first step towards forgetting the past is to stop talking and thinking about it.Come to the present,live in the present and think about the present.Then no matter how hard the failure was, you will recover from it within no time.
5.Come to real life,then start socializing:- One of the most common error we humans do is that we give more importance to our virtual friends than the real ones.We spend hours updating our fb status,chatting with online friend(half of them who are total strangers) so that we could keep our fb account "live".Ok so just take a moment and think-if you wake up tomorrow and find yourself in an extremely terrible situation , how many of these "virtual friends" will be there for your help?...honestly , half of my most intimate fb friends wont even care to smile when they see me in reality.Well lets face the truth....the only bond you have is with your real life friends and family.The one you make online is only "virtual" as they call it.So snap out of your imaginary land, step into the real one and then socialize and make some "real friends".Maybe you are a shy person and dislike interacting with real life people and situations, but at the end of the day ...its these people and situations you have to live with!Hiding in your own virtual land will only make you more shy.
6.Cry,Its alright!:-You might be thinking -"cry?to be happy? what .....on earth?" But its the truth,the happiness and bliss crying can give you is un-explainable. We are human beings,we need to let out our emotions in one way or the other...bolting them up will only worsen the situation.So next time you feel like the pain is overwhelming,go to someone you trust/go sit somewhere alone and just let your pain,anger and fear flow out-its alright, no one is watching you!
Love What You Dislike...
Living With The Things You Hate.
I've spend half of my life wondering when I will get the "ideal life" I've always dreamed of?Because i always used to find one or the other fault with my life.And like most of you i used to hate my life, because i was always forced to do the things i "don't like".But the truth is that nobody in the world is completely happy with the life they have ,all are forced to do certain things they dislike for their welfare or others'. Today you may not be happy with your workplace, and once you quit it you may feel angry with yourself for not being able to support your family, this will only cause further troubles.So what you need to do is tell yourself that this discomfort is temporary and one day the perfect job/the opportunity is gonna come in search of you (not that you should quit trying).Maybe the people in your current life hate you / maybe you are forced to stay away from your family for some reason.But this is no justification for you giving up because all those successful people whom you look up to had to pass through this phase before becoming what they are now.Imagine -what if they had given up then?.I'm not a very successful person but whatever I've achieved in my life came to me only after i learnt being happy with what i have.You just don't want to be successful, what you actually want is happiness.All the goals we have set in our life is for getting that happy and peaceful life.But let me tell you one disappointing thing- success never brings happiness , the only thing it brings is the need for more.So one of the most important preparations for getting that "ideal successful life" is learning to live with the small discomforts of your life.Even if you are proclaimed the "king of the universe" you will still remain unsatisfied if you are not happy with the life you have this moment.As a result you are most likely to get trapped in the vicious cycle of happiness hunt.....it goes on and on;the end result-you are never happy.
Let me tell you a few things that helped me through the tough times.The first thing i did is tell myself -"i love what I'm doing".Sometimes the notion that we hate something is so dominant in our head that we forget its good sides.You may feel like you hate your current life - but try discovering its good sides , I'm sure u'll figure a few out.Do this for over a week and find yourself falling in love with the life you have!
Secondly, never ever try to run away from those things you hate.Obviously any human would try to run away from the things he/she dislikes but this is impossible when your whole life revolves around that one thing/when its an important part of your life.What i did and what many others do is they try and create an imaginary world and start living on it.This is never ever gonna work because at the end all you have got is the real life and not the one in your head. Internet addiction,drug abuse, and all such addictions rise from this dissatisfaction with life.So all you can do is try face those "discomfortable situations", don't run away from them, and at some point you'll get adapted to it.You may feel a bit uncomfortable at first but tell yourself that it is temporary.
Thirdly,bring down your expectations.We all have expect a lot from people,situations and ourselves and often we are not even aware of these expectations.Sometimes dissatisfaction rises from over expectation, this was true in my case.Maybe you are not the most popular guy at school and maybe your boss doesn't consider you as his most intelligent employee but these are not the things essential for a happy life and nor will popularity or rewards keep you happy in the long run.As i said before they will only ignite in you a desire for more and its never gonna keep you happy.All it can do is instill a feeling of superiority in you which will further force you to isolate yourself from the "common crowd".Also if you just study those "lucky people" among you , you will discover that they are just as dissatisfied and uncomfortable with their life as you are but in a different way.So embrace your life its simply wonderful!
Never give up on your dreams and aspirations-I did ask you to remain satisfied with your life but not give up wishing for that "ideal life".Keep working as hard as you can to get that life you have always dreamed of . It'll not only help you get closer to your goals but will also make your present happier as it shows a new ray of hope.You may meet with failures in the way but never hold them up as excuses for quitting b'coz for you, nothing is impossible.
I've mentioned this in my old post and I'm saying it again-"If you are not happy with the life you have ,you will never be happy with the life you get, no matter how good/bad it is"-just keep this in your mind and live the life you have to the fullest!
I've spend half of my life wondering when I will get the "ideal life" I've always dreamed of?Because i always used to find one or the other fault with my life.And like most of you i used to hate my life, because i was always forced to do the things i "don't like".But the truth is that nobody in the world is completely happy with the life they have ,all are forced to do certain things they dislike for their welfare or others'. Today you may not be happy with your workplace, and once you quit it you may feel angry with yourself for not being able to support your family, this will only cause further troubles.So what you need to do is tell yourself that this discomfort is temporary and one day the perfect job/the opportunity is gonna come in search of you (not that you should quit trying).Maybe the people in your current life hate you / maybe you are forced to stay away from your family for some reason.But this is no justification for you giving up because all those successful people whom you look up to had to pass through this phase before becoming what they are now.Imagine -what if they had given up then?.I'm not a very successful person but whatever I've achieved in my life came to me only after i learnt being happy with what i have.You just don't want to be successful, what you actually want is happiness.All the goals we have set in our life is for getting that happy and peaceful life.But let me tell you one disappointing thing- success never brings happiness , the only thing it brings is the need for more.So one of the most important preparations for getting that "ideal successful life" is learning to live with the small discomforts of your life.Even if you are proclaimed the "king of the universe" you will still remain unsatisfied if you are not happy with the life you have this moment.As a result you are most likely to get trapped in the vicious cycle of happiness hunt.....it goes on and on;the end result-you are never happy.
Let me tell you a few things that helped me through the tough times.The first thing i did is tell myself -"i love what I'm doing".Sometimes the notion that we hate something is so dominant in our head that we forget its good sides.You may feel like you hate your current life - but try discovering its good sides , I'm sure u'll figure a few out.Do this for over a week and find yourself falling in love with the life you have!
Secondly, never ever try to run away from those things you hate.Obviously any human would try to run away from the things he/she dislikes but this is impossible when your whole life revolves around that one thing/when its an important part of your life.What i did and what many others do is they try and create an imaginary world and start living on it.This is never ever gonna work because at the end all you have got is the real life and not the one in your head. Internet addiction,drug abuse, and all such addictions rise from this dissatisfaction with life.So all you can do is try face those "discomfortable situations", don't run away from them, and at some point you'll get adapted to it.You may feel a bit uncomfortable at first but tell yourself that it is temporary.
Thirdly,bring down your expectations.We all have expect a lot from people,situations and ourselves and often we are not even aware of these expectations.Sometimes dissatisfaction rises from over expectation, this was true in my case.Maybe you are not the most popular guy at school and maybe your boss doesn't consider you as his most intelligent employee but these are not the things essential for a happy life and nor will popularity or rewards keep you happy in the long run.As i said before they will only ignite in you a desire for more and its never gonna keep you happy.All it can do is instill a feeling of superiority in you which will further force you to isolate yourself from the "common crowd".Also if you just study those "lucky people" among you , you will discover that they are just as dissatisfied and uncomfortable with their life as you are but in a different way.So embrace your life its simply wonderful!
Never give up on your dreams and aspirations-I did ask you to remain satisfied with your life but not give up wishing for that "ideal life".Keep working as hard as you can to get that life you have always dreamed of . It'll not only help you get closer to your goals but will also make your present happier as it shows a new ray of hope.You may meet with failures in the way but never hold them up as excuses for quitting b'coz for you, nothing is impossible.
I've mentioned this in my old post and I'm saying it again-"If you are not happy with the life you have ,you will never be happy with the life you get, no matter how good/bad it is"-just keep this in your mind and live the life you have to the fullest!
Saturday 13 July 2013
Art Of Happiness
Happy And I Know It.............!!!
You might be surprised to know that a girl who had undergone severe depression twice in her lifetime and at very young age had finally taken up the task of creating an inspirational blog!!I know that many of you are starting to feel better already.....just kidding! But there is one advantage i have over the "normal" people.... i learnt to "VALUE" happiness ...and most importantly i mastered "The Art Of Happiness", in fact all of you have already mastered it only thing is that we often "forget" it or we simply avoid those simple facts we are already aware of !
If you guys are looking for "instant happiness" sorry i can never ever give you that ....but yes, i can tell you a few changes i made in my life...that changed my life forever and ever!!! I stopped a few habits and i brought up a few new ones and with a few corrections here and there....i no more needed the "ideal life" that i always dreamed of to stay happy.
1) Stop searching outside and look inside!!!-
This is actually the quote by a great spiritual master...but what i mean here is totally different from what he said.Half of you might be reading this post for something you call "inspiration"...A few years back i was the same as you , trying to gain some "inspiration.There was a day when i watched "pursuit of happiness" thrice (on a single day) to get "inspired" and change my life forever...i know it sounds totally dumb but at that point of my life it made complete sense...and yea i did stay inspired for the next 24 hrs ...but after a good night's sleep i was back into the "actual me".I know this is kinda changing into a self confession blog but all I'm trying to say here is stop trying to get "inspired"...i know it works, but only for the time being.So what you can do is next time you feel like getting "inspired"..look into your own life...take a look at all the hurdles YOU have passed through....look at yourself as a hero......its totally true "a hero lies in you".And then you are gonna feel strong and passionate like never before....i can guarantee you that.You don't necessarily have to be an orphan abandoned by step dad to feel that way...take a look at the simple things you have achieved in your life.....maybe what you are facing now is a lot bigger than all those...but trust me if you can do that...you can definitely do this!
This is actually the quote by a great spiritual master...but what i mean here is totally different from what he said.Half of you might be reading this post for something you call "inspiration"...A few years back i was the same as you , trying to gain some "inspiration.There was a day when i watched "pursuit of happiness" thrice (on a single day) to get "inspired" and change my life forever...i know it sounds totally dumb but at that point of my life it made complete sense...and yea i did stay inspired for the next 24 hrs ...but after a good night's sleep i was back into the "actual me".I know this is kinda changing into a self confession blog but all I'm trying to say here is stop trying to get "inspired"...i know it works, but only for the time being.So what you can do is next time you feel like getting "inspired"..look into your own life...take a look at all the hurdles YOU have passed through....look at yourself as a hero......its totally true "a hero lies in you".And then you are gonna feel strong and passionate like never before....i can guarantee you that.You don't necessarily have to be an orphan abandoned by step dad to feel that way...take a look at the simple things you have achieved in your life.....maybe what you are facing now is a lot bigger than all those...but trust me if you can do that...you can definitely do this!
2)You create your own fate, so tell them~~~~ "stop talking crap!!!"-
Do you wanna be a singer?...a writer?...a cook?....a dancer?...and do you terribly suck at it?....do people discourage you?...do people tell you you'll never be what you wanna be?....then if you can't afford to "displease" them...at least IGNORE them...because you create your own fate ...yes you heard it right...you are the master of your destiny.With true devotion,passion and hard work you can be whatever you wanna be even if you are 90.And never ever stop doing it because that's the first rule of staying happy----do the things you like, and for the time being you can be selfish and do whatever you like no matter how good or bad you are at it.Cook your heart out don't care about the buzzing smoke alarm,sing your heart out...who cares about the neighbours?...they are always complaining anyway.And you know what? if you do something with that much passion ...there's no stopping you !!People discourage you b'coz they don't know the "true" you...and now they think you are gonna end up being nothing......so get your butt moving and show them what you are!
Do you wanna be a singer?...a writer?...a cook?....a dancer?...and do you terribly suck at it?....do people discourage you?...do people tell you you'll never be what you wanna be?....then if you can't afford to "displease" them...at least IGNORE them...because you create your own fate ...yes you heard it right...you are the master of your destiny.With true devotion,passion and hard work you can be whatever you wanna be even if you are 90.And never ever stop doing it because that's the first rule of staying happy----do the things you like, and for the time being you can be selfish and do whatever you like no matter how good or bad you are at it.Cook your heart out don't care about the buzzing smoke alarm,sing your heart out...who cares about the neighbours?...they are always complaining anyway.And you know what? if you do something with that much passion ...there's no stopping you !!People discourage you b'coz they don't know the "true" you...and now they think you are gonna end up being nothing......so get your butt moving and show them what you are!
3)Think : "I can be..............."
You might probably laugh at this , but a few years back i had this crazy belief that if i think something negatively ..I'm gonna get a positive result.Like if i want the day to be sunny I'll think "Oh! its surely gonna rain"....because i had a belief that if i think so it'll remain sunny.I know it sounds crazy but the truth is many others think the same ... I'm not kidding at all..i have met a lot of people with the same view and many of them didn't even find it "abnormal".But later i found out that they are right but the only difference is that its their "belief " that if they think negatively they are gonna end up with a positive result that helped them rather than the negative thinking.You might ask then why shouldn't i do that like those guys did?yes you are right those guys were totally normal except for the fact that i met most of them while i was undergoing treatment for depression at a mental health clinic.So its the second simple rule-wanna stay happy?-think positively. That's it guys..."belief"........you are what you believe you are.So if you think "you can"..then "you can" if "no" then "no"...easy as that.So from today think ..."i can" and if you have any crazy beliefs like mine....drop em ASAP.
4) wanna change something about yourself?.....please don't do that!
Yes.... if you feel like there's something you should change about yourself (other than your behavioral faults) please don't do it! Its human nature that we'll never be satisfied with what we have or what we are...heard about those plastic surgery addicts?...and at the end they are left with nothing but regret!Today you may feel like..."after shedding those extra pounds, I'm never gonna complain again"...and after getting that wish done you may find fault with your nose, your toes and the cycle goes on...the end result is that you will never be happy.There are also chances of failures which will only push you into further troubles.So what you should do is relax take a deep breath, put on a broad smile and look at all the good things in your life and tell yourself that your imperfect nose or flabby belly does not change who you are.... nor is anyone gonna hate you due to it....and most importantly tell yourself that you are happy with the way you are.What people actually care about is your character , looks are secondary ...so if you really wanna stay confident and happy its not your looks that you need to change but your character.
5)you can dream...but don't live on those dreams!
We all have a very big goal in our life maybe that's becoming a famous actor,singer writer or a billionaire .Having such goals are good like they say, "aim for the stars you'll at least reach the trees".But this principle actually will not work if we stop dreaming and start fantasizing.What most of us do is as we are unsatisfied with the life we have, we start creating such big dreams and goals and start living on them.The problem here is that you forget to live in the moment.And obviously the end result is that you'll never be happy.Tell yourself one important thing "if i am not happy with the life i have I'll never be happy with the life I get no matter how good or bad it is"...this is what always worked for me.
6) Give happiness!...take happiness!.
Its the basic universal law....you get happiness as you give it.Most of us are so self centered that all we care about is our problems and our worries, we'll have a thousand reasons for shouting at others but we often forget that they too are a part of this planet and are humans with similar problems and worries as you or maybe they are experiencing even bigger problems.So next time you feel like dumping your stress by shouting at someone remember that you get happiness as you give it...."dumping" your anger will only make the situation worse.The same principle works when someone shouts at you.....even if you are innocent stay calm , take a deep breath ...remind yourself that their anger is their problem you don't have to worry about it or if you feel you are guilty give the person some time and once he/she is calm...try apologizing ,you'll feel content and happy like never before,trust me!
7)If you can't take it ..take a break!
This is one of the most important stuff you can practice, if you feel like the stress is overwhelming...please don't bear it , no matter how important the program you have taken up is, take a break go somewhere or at least find a peaceful spot at home,put on some music and relax.If you don't do this, chances are that you are gonna break down at one point/the other.So just take a deep breath , relax and smile...you don't own all the problems in the world!
8)Don't get addicted to anything other than yourself..
Earlier i asked you guys to do whatever you like and not care about the world but there is an exception there...."doing whatever you like" does not include drinking,smoking,extreme partying and acting like others are non-existent.You think that these give you "happiness" but that's not real happiness and once the pleasure from those are gone, you'll be back into your old self, much like the "inspiring movies" and you are likely to be much more depressed and confused.What you want is happiness not an illusion that you are happy.So just quit those "stuff" which you think gives you pleasure......because happiness is something which only you can create -"YOU".Maybe its not the most easy task on earth , but with constant efforts you can do anything.....by anything i mean..."ANYTHING".One of the things that helped me while trying to quit my internet addiction was restoring my self-esteem.I discovered the things i was good at and whenever i felt like switching on my laptop ..i would grab my pen and write whatever i felt, then i would post it on fb and some of my intimate friends encouraged me to write more and i finally felt like I'm not "useless" like i feel and maybe with some effort i can be something in life....and in a few months i realized that i can be happy without any of those external "pleasure supply " sources.Another thing that worked for me was doing other things that I Equally liked like talking with my friend/taking a good walk this helped me distract my mind at least for the time being.
9) open up.....not all are conspiring against you!
One of the most important thing that helped me was opening up about my problems to someone i trust.I was a very introvert person and as a writer it has helped me a lot but not at all times.One of the most important reasons why i went into depression was not trusting anyone.I would never ever let anyone know whats in my mind...and at the same time i complained of being unhappy...how contrary!....then when I finally trusted someone and let all my burdens out I felt so light at heart like never before.Trust someone or at least something...! If you cant trust anyone in real life get online, find a stranger tell him whatever you want .....don't reveal your identity,even that'll help or the best option is to meet a councilor if you can.
10)Embrace your life!
Last but not the least love yourself!I didn't mention this earlier because this may sound a bit difficult at first.I did ask you to do the things you like but there's no point in finding happiness in those if you are dissatisfied with yourself.So everyday find some time ,take a deep breath lean back relax and do nothing.Look at yourself and appreciate all the good qualities in yourself...think about your bad qualities and work on how you can change them.Review all the happenings of that day and appreciate yourself for all the good works, look at your mistakes and find out where you went wrong.Most importantly forgive yourself for the mistakes you have done/bad qualities you have...because just like others you too are a human and can go wrong at some points.Finally tell yourself that you are amazing no matter what others think of you!
4) wanna change something about yourself?.....please don't do that!
Yes.... if you feel like there's something you should change about yourself (other than your behavioral faults) please don't do it! Its human nature that we'll never be satisfied with what we have or what we are...heard about those plastic surgery addicts?...and at the end they are left with nothing but regret!Today you may feel like..."after shedding those extra pounds, I'm never gonna complain again"...and after getting that wish done you may find fault with your nose, your toes and the cycle goes on...the end result is that you will never be happy.There are also chances of failures which will only push you into further troubles.So what you should do is relax take a deep breath, put on a broad smile and look at all the good things in your life and tell yourself that your imperfect nose or flabby belly does not change who you are.... nor is anyone gonna hate you due to it....and most importantly tell yourself that you are happy with the way you are.What people actually care about is your character , looks are secondary ...so if you really wanna stay confident and happy its not your looks that you need to change but your character.
5)you can dream...but don't live on those dreams!
We all have a very big goal in our life maybe that's becoming a famous actor,singer writer or a billionaire .Having such goals are good like they say, "aim for the stars you'll at least reach the trees".But this principle actually will not work if we stop dreaming and start fantasizing.What most of us do is as we are unsatisfied with the life we have, we start creating such big dreams and goals and start living on them.The problem here is that you forget to live in the moment.And obviously the end result is that you'll never be happy.Tell yourself one important thing "if i am not happy with the life i have I'll never be happy with the life I get no matter how good or bad it is"...this is what always worked for me.
6) Give happiness!...take happiness!.
Its the basic universal law....you get happiness as you give it.Most of us are so self centered that all we care about is our problems and our worries, we'll have a thousand reasons for shouting at others but we often forget that they too are a part of this planet and are humans with similar problems and worries as you or maybe they are experiencing even bigger problems.So next time you feel like dumping your stress by shouting at someone remember that you get happiness as you give it...."dumping" your anger will only make the situation worse.The same principle works when someone shouts at you.....even if you are innocent stay calm , take a deep breath ...remind yourself that their anger is their problem you don't have to worry about it or if you feel you are guilty give the person some time and once he/she is calm...try apologizing ,you'll feel content and happy like never before,trust me!
7)If you can't take it ..take a break!
This is one of the most important stuff you can practice, if you feel like the stress is overwhelming...please don't bear it , no matter how important the program you have taken up is, take a break go somewhere or at least find a peaceful spot at home,put on some music and relax.If you don't do this, chances are that you are gonna break down at one point/the other.So just take a deep breath , relax and smile...you don't own all the problems in the world!
8)Don't get addicted to anything other than yourself..
Earlier i asked you guys to do whatever you like and not care about the world but there is an exception there...."doing whatever you like" does not include drinking,smoking,extreme partying and acting like others are non-existent.You think that these give you "happiness" but that's not real happiness and once the pleasure from those are gone, you'll be back into your old self, much like the "inspiring movies" and you are likely to be much more depressed and confused.What you want is happiness not an illusion that you are happy.So just quit those "stuff" which you think gives you pleasure......because happiness is something which only you can create -"YOU".Maybe its not the most easy task on earth , but with constant efforts you can do anything.....by anything i mean..."ANYTHING".One of the things that helped me while trying to quit my internet addiction was restoring my self-esteem.I discovered the things i was good at and whenever i felt like switching on my laptop ..i would grab my pen and write whatever i felt, then i would post it on fb and some of my intimate friends encouraged me to write more and i finally felt like I'm not "useless" like i feel and maybe with some effort i can be something in life....and in a few months i realized that i can be happy without any of those external "pleasure supply " sources.Another thing that worked for me was doing other things that I Equally liked like talking with my friend/taking a good walk this helped me distract my mind at least for the time being.
9) open up.....not all are conspiring against you!
One of the most important thing that helped me was opening up about my problems to someone i trust.I was a very introvert person and as a writer it has helped me a lot but not at all times.One of the most important reasons why i went into depression was not trusting anyone.I would never ever let anyone know whats in my mind...and at the same time i complained of being unhappy...how contrary!....then when I finally trusted someone and let all my burdens out I felt so light at heart like never before.Trust someone or at least something...! If you cant trust anyone in real life get online, find a stranger tell him whatever you want .....don't reveal your identity,even that'll help or the best option is to meet a councilor if you can.
10)Embrace your life!
Last but not the least love yourself!I didn't mention this earlier because this may sound a bit difficult at first.I did ask you to do the things you like but there's no point in finding happiness in those if you are dissatisfied with yourself.So everyday find some time ,take a deep breath lean back relax and do nothing.Look at yourself and appreciate all the good qualities in yourself...think about your bad qualities and work on how you can change them.Review all the happenings of that day and appreciate yourself for all the good works, look at your mistakes and find out where you went wrong.Most importantly forgive yourself for the mistakes you have done/bad qualities you have...because just like others you too are a human and can go wrong at some points.Finally tell yourself that you are amazing no matter what others think of you!
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