Happy And I Know It.............!!!
You might be surprised to know that a girl who had undergone severe depression twice in her lifetime and at very young age had finally taken up the task of creating an inspirational blog!!I know that many of you are starting to feel better already.....just kidding! But there is one advantage i have over the "normal" people.... i learnt to "VALUE" happiness ...and most importantly i mastered "The Art Of Happiness", in fact all of you have already mastered it only thing is that we often "forget" it or we simply avoid those simple facts we are already aware of !
If you guys are looking for "instant happiness" sorry i can never ever give you that ....but yes, i can tell you a few changes i made in my life...that changed my life forever and ever!!! I stopped a few habits and i brought up a few new ones and with a few corrections here and there....i no more needed the "ideal life" that i always dreamed of to stay happy.
1) Stop searching outside and look inside!!!-
This is actually the quote by a great spiritual master...but what i mean here is totally different from what he said.Half of you might be reading this post for something you call "inspiration"...A few years back i was the same as you , trying to gain some "inspiration.There was a day when i watched "pursuit of happiness" thrice (on a single day) to get "inspired" and change my life forever...i know it sounds totally dumb but at that point of my life it made complete sense...and yea i did stay inspired for the next 24 hrs ...but after a good night's sleep i was back into the "actual me".I know this is kinda changing into a self confession blog but all I'm trying to say here is stop trying to get "inspired"...i know it works, but only for the time being.So what you can do is next time you feel like getting "inspired"..look into your own life...take a look at all the hurdles YOU have passed through....look at yourself as a hero......its totally true "a hero lies in you".And then you are gonna feel strong and passionate like never before....i can guarantee you that.You don't necessarily have to be an orphan abandoned by step dad to feel that way...take a look at the simple things you have achieved in your life.....maybe what you are facing now is a lot bigger than all those...but trust me if you can do that...you can definitely do this!
This is actually the quote by a great spiritual master...but what i mean here is totally different from what he said.Half of you might be reading this post for something you call "inspiration"...A few years back i was the same as you , trying to gain some "inspiration.There was a day when i watched "pursuit of happiness" thrice (on a single day) to get "inspired" and change my life forever...i know it sounds totally dumb but at that point of my life it made complete sense...and yea i did stay inspired for the next 24 hrs ...but after a good night's sleep i was back into the "actual me".I know this is kinda changing into a self confession blog but all I'm trying to say here is stop trying to get "inspired"...i know it works, but only for the time being.So what you can do is next time you feel like getting "inspired"..look into your own life...take a look at all the hurdles YOU have passed through....look at yourself as a hero......its totally true "a hero lies in you".And then you are gonna feel strong and passionate like never before....i can guarantee you that.You don't necessarily have to be an orphan abandoned by step dad to feel that way...take a look at the simple things you have achieved in your life.....maybe what you are facing now is a lot bigger than all those...but trust me if you can do that...you can definitely do this!
2)You create your own fate, so tell them~~~~ "stop talking crap!!!"-
Do you wanna be a singer?...a writer?...a cook?....a dancer?...and do you terribly suck at it?....do people discourage you?...do people tell you you'll never be what you wanna be?....then if you can't afford to "displease" them...at least IGNORE them...because you create your own fate ...yes you heard it right...you are the master of your destiny.With true devotion,passion and hard work you can be whatever you wanna be even if you are 90.And never ever stop doing it because that's the first rule of staying happy----do the things you like, and for the time being you can be selfish and do whatever you like no matter how good or bad you are at it.Cook your heart out don't care about the buzzing smoke alarm,sing your heart out...who cares about the neighbours?...they are always complaining anyway.And you know what? if you do something with that much passion ...there's no stopping you !!People discourage you b'coz they don't know the "true" you...and now they think you are gonna end up being nothing......so get your butt moving and show them what you are!
Do you wanna be a singer?...a writer?...a cook?....a dancer?...and do you terribly suck at it?....do people discourage you?...do people tell you you'll never be what you wanna be?....then if you can't afford to "displease" them...at least IGNORE them...because you create your own fate ...yes you heard it right...you are the master of your destiny.With true devotion,passion and hard work you can be whatever you wanna be even if you are 90.And never ever stop doing it because that's the first rule of staying happy----do the things you like, and for the time being you can be selfish and do whatever you like no matter how good or bad you are at it.Cook your heart out don't care about the buzzing smoke alarm,sing your heart out...who cares about the neighbours?...they are always complaining anyway.And you know what? if you do something with that much passion ...there's no stopping you !!People discourage you b'coz they don't know the "true" you...and now they think you are gonna end up being nothing......so get your butt moving and show them what you are!
3)Think : "I can be..............."
You might probably laugh at this , but a few years back i had this crazy belief that if i think something negatively ..I'm gonna get a positive result.Like if i want the day to be sunny I'll think "Oh! its surely gonna rain"....because i had a belief that if i think so it'll remain sunny.I know it sounds crazy but the truth is many others think the same ... I'm not kidding at all..i have met a lot of people with the same view and many of them didn't even find it "abnormal".But later i found out that they are right but the only difference is that its their "belief " that if they think negatively they are gonna end up with a positive result that helped them rather than the negative thinking.You might ask then why shouldn't i do that like those guys did?yes you are right those guys were totally normal except for the fact that i met most of them while i was undergoing treatment for depression at a mental health clinic.So its the second simple rule-wanna stay happy?-think positively. That's it guys..."belief"........you are what you believe you are.So if you think "you can"..then "you can" if "no" then "no"...easy as that.So from today think ..."i can" and if you have any crazy beliefs like mine....drop em ASAP.
4) wanna change something about yourself?.....please don't do that!
Yes.... if you feel like there's something you should change about yourself (other than your behavioral faults) please don't do it! Its human nature that we'll never be satisfied with what we have or what we are...heard about those plastic surgery addicts?...and at the end they are left with nothing but regret!Today you may feel like..."after shedding those extra pounds, I'm never gonna complain again"...and after getting that wish done you may find fault with your nose, your toes and the cycle goes on...the end result is that you will never be happy.There are also chances of failures which will only push you into further troubles.So what you should do is relax take a deep breath, put on a broad smile and look at all the good things in your life and tell yourself that your imperfect nose or flabby belly does not change who you are.... nor is anyone gonna hate you due to it....and most importantly tell yourself that you are happy with the way you are.What people actually care about is your character , looks are secondary ...so if you really wanna stay confident and happy its not your looks that you need to change but your character.
5)you can dream...but don't live on those dreams!
We all have a very big goal in our life maybe that's becoming a famous actor,singer writer or a billionaire .Having such goals are good like they say, "aim for the stars you'll at least reach the trees".But this principle actually will not work if we stop dreaming and start fantasizing.What most of us do is as we are unsatisfied with the life we have, we start creating such big dreams and goals and start living on them.The problem here is that you forget to live in the moment.And obviously the end result is that you'll never be happy.Tell yourself one important thing "if i am not happy with the life i have I'll never be happy with the life I get no matter how good or bad it is"...this is what always worked for me.
6) Give happiness!...take happiness!.
Its the basic universal law....you get happiness as you give it.Most of us are so self centered that all we care about is our problems and our worries, we'll have a thousand reasons for shouting at others but we often forget that they too are a part of this planet and are humans with similar problems and worries as you or maybe they are experiencing even bigger problems.So next time you feel like dumping your stress by shouting at someone remember that you get happiness as you give it...."dumping" your anger will only make the situation worse.The same principle works when someone shouts at you.....even if you are innocent stay calm , take a deep breath ...remind yourself that their anger is their problem you don't have to worry about it or if you feel you are guilty give the person some time and once he/she is calm...try apologizing ,you'll feel content and happy like never before,trust me!
7)If you can't take it ..take a break!
This is one of the most important stuff you can practice, if you feel like the stress is overwhelming...please don't bear it , no matter how important the program you have taken up is, take a break go somewhere or at least find a peaceful spot at home,put on some music and relax.If you don't do this, chances are that you are gonna break down at one point/the other.So just take a deep breath , relax and smile...you don't own all the problems in the world!
8)Don't get addicted to anything other than yourself..
Earlier i asked you guys to do whatever you like and not care about the world but there is an exception there...."doing whatever you like" does not include drinking,smoking,extreme partying and acting like others are non-existent.You think that these give you "happiness" but that's not real happiness and once the pleasure from those are gone, you'll be back into your old self, much like the "inspiring movies" and you are likely to be much more depressed and confused.What you want is happiness not an illusion that you are happy.So just quit those "stuff" which you think gives you pleasure......because happiness is something which only you can create -"YOU".Maybe its not the most easy task on earth , but with constant efforts you can do anything.....by anything i mean..."ANYTHING".One of the things that helped me while trying to quit my internet addiction was restoring my self-esteem.I discovered the things i was good at and whenever i felt like switching on my laptop ..i would grab my pen and write whatever i felt, then i would post it on fb and some of my intimate friends encouraged me to write more and i finally felt like I'm not "useless" like i feel and maybe with some effort i can be something in life....and in a few months i realized that i can be happy without any of those external "pleasure supply " sources.Another thing that worked for me was doing other things that I Equally liked like talking with my friend/taking a good walk this helped me distract my mind at least for the time being.
9) open up.....not all are conspiring against you!
One of the most important thing that helped me was opening up about my problems to someone i trust.I was a very introvert person and as a writer it has helped me a lot but not at all times.One of the most important reasons why i went into depression was not trusting anyone.I would never ever let anyone know whats in my mind...and at the same time i complained of being unhappy...how contrary!....then when I finally trusted someone and let all my burdens out I felt so light at heart like never before.Trust someone or at least something...! If you cant trust anyone in real life get online, find a stranger tell him whatever you want .....don't reveal your identity,even that'll help or the best option is to meet a councilor if you can.
10)Embrace your life!
Last but not the least love yourself!I didn't mention this earlier because this may sound a bit difficult at first.I did ask you to do the things you like but there's no point in finding happiness in those if you are dissatisfied with yourself.So everyday find some time ,take a deep breath lean back relax and do nothing.Look at yourself and appreciate all the good qualities in yourself...think about your bad qualities and work on how you can change them.Review all the happenings of that day and appreciate yourself for all the good works, look at your mistakes and find out where you went wrong.Most importantly forgive yourself for the mistakes you have done/bad qualities you have...because just like others you too are a human and can go wrong at some points.Finally tell yourself that you are amazing no matter what others think of you!
4) wanna change something about yourself?.....please don't do that!
Yes.... if you feel like there's something you should change about yourself (other than your behavioral faults) please don't do it! Its human nature that we'll never be satisfied with what we have or what we are...heard about those plastic surgery addicts?...and at the end they are left with nothing but regret!Today you may feel like..."after shedding those extra pounds, I'm never gonna complain again"...and after getting that wish done you may find fault with your nose, your toes and the cycle goes on...the end result is that you will never be happy.There are also chances of failures which will only push you into further troubles.So what you should do is relax take a deep breath, put on a broad smile and look at all the good things in your life and tell yourself that your imperfect nose or flabby belly does not change who you are.... nor is anyone gonna hate you due to it....and most importantly tell yourself that you are happy with the way you are.What people actually care about is your character , looks are secondary ...so if you really wanna stay confident and happy its not your looks that you need to change but your character.
5)you can dream...but don't live on those dreams!
We all have a very big goal in our life maybe that's becoming a famous actor,singer writer or a billionaire .Having such goals are good like they say, "aim for the stars you'll at least reach the trees".But this principle actually will not work if we stop dreaming and start fantasizing.What most of us do is as we are unsatisfied with the life we have, we start creating such big dreams and goals and start living on them.The problem here is that you forget to live in the moment.And obviously the end result is that you'll never be happy.Tell yourself one important thing "if i am not happy with the life i have I'll never be happy with the life I get no matter how good or bad it is"...this is what always worked for me.
6) Give happiness!...take happiness!.
Its the basic universal law....you get happiness as you give it.Most of us are so self centered that all we care about is our problems and our worries, we'll have a thousand reasons for shouting at others but we often forget that they too are a part of this planet and are humans with similar problems and worries as you or maybe they are experiencing even bigger problems.So next time you feel like dumping your stress by shouting at someone remember that you get happiness as you give it...."dumping" your anger will only make the situation worse.The same principle works when someone shouts at you.....even if you are innocent stay calm , take a deep breath ...remind yourself that their anger is their problem you don't have to worry about it or if you feel you are guilty give the person some time and once he/she is calm...try apologizing ,you'll feel content and happy like never before,trust me!
7)If you can't take it ..take a break!
This is one of the most important stuff you can practice, if you feel like the stress is overwhelming...please don't bear it , no matter how important the program you have taken up is, take a break go somewhere or at least find a peaceful spot at home,put on some music and relax.If you don't do this, chances are that you are gonna break down at one point/the other.So just take a deep breath , relax and smile...you don't own all the problems in the world!
8)Don't get addicted to anything other than yourself..
Earlier i asked you guys to do whatever you like and not care about the world but there is an exception there...."doing whatever you like" does not include drinking,smoking,extreme partying and acting like others are non-existent.You think that these give you "happiness" but that's not real happiness and once the pleasure from those are gone, you'll be back into your old self, much like the "inspiring movies" and you are likely to be much more depressed and confused.What you want is happiness not an illusion that you are happy.So just quit those "stuff" which you think gives you pleasure......because happiness is something which only you can create -"YOU".Maybe its not the most easy task on earth , but with constant efforts you can do anything.....by anything i mean..."ANYTHING".One of the things that helped me while trying to quit my internet addiction was restoring my self-esteem.I discovered the things i was good at and whenever i felt like switching on my laptop ..i would grab my pen and write whatever i felt, then i would post it on fb and some of my intimate friends encouraged me to write more and i finally felt like I'm not "useless" like i feel and maybe with some effort i can be something in life....and in a few months i realized that i can be happy without any of those external "pleasure supply " sources.Another thing that worked for me was doing other things that I Equally liked like talking with my friend/taking a good walk this helped me distract my mind at least for the time being.
9) open up.....not all are conspiring against you!
One of the most important thing that helped me was opening up about my problems to someone i trust.I was a very introvert person and as a writer it has helped me a lot but not at all times.One of the most important reasons why i went into depression was not trusting anyone.I would never ever let anyone know whats in my mind...and at the same time i complained of being unhappy...how contrary!....then when I finally trusted someone and let all my burdens out I felt so light at heart like never before.Trust someone or at least something...! If you cant trust anyone in real life get online, find a stranger tell him whatever you want .....don't reveal your identity,even that'll help or the best option is to meet a councilor if you can.
10)Embrace your life!
Last but not the least love yourself!I didn't mention this earlier because this may sound a bit difficult at first.I did ask you to do the things you like but there's no point in finding happiness in those if you are dissatisfied with yourself.So everyday find some time ,take a deep breath lean back relax and do nothing.Look at yourself and appreciate all the good qualities in yourself...think about your bad qualities and work on how you can change them.Review all the happenings of that day and appreciate yourself for all the good works, look at your mistakes and find out where you went wrong.Most importantly forgive yourself for the mistakes you have done/bad qualities you have...because just like others you too are a human and can go wrong at some points.Finally tell yourself that you are amazing no matter what others think of you!
Give it a reading ...Worth it..You will find yourself smiling ad wondering why you will forget those simple amazing facts about life..i feel better already...Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteplease keep writing ...i am reading my life here...good work my friend...
ReplyDeleteA Prodigy takes flight!! Way to go!!
ReplyDelete“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
ReplyDelete― Abraham Lincoln
A great reading after such a long time :) :) A new dimension to happiness! A new lens to look at life :) Great Work! Keep Going!
Lets say - I have nothing to do today but smile :) :)
@aneesh mullachery,@veeyes,@sathyam lekha,@gayathry sathyalekha...thanks to u all fr ur support....keep reading and keep smilin :)
ReplyDeleteGood one :) Capsule form :) Loved it!
ReplyDeleteI still can't believe that you are writing all these inspirational stuffs. It is REALLY inspirational!
ReplyDeletelook into your own life...take a look at all the hurdles YOU have passed through....look at yourself as a hero......its totally true "a hero lies in you"
- Thank you for reminding me about my inner hero and don't forget, a hero lies in you too :)